Get Thee to a Punnery: An Anthology of Intentional Assaults Upon the English Language

By Richard Lederer

Get Thee to a Punnery proves that the pun is mightier than the sword . . . and listed below are sidesplitting puns of each colour, stripe and persuasion to fit each whim. no matter if you do not know that your humerus is your humorous bone, this is often the e-book for you.

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Deep within the similar woods lived a wide brown undergo whose toes have been formed like these of a small boy. sooner or later the endure broke into Chan’s cabin and made off with a number of carvings that have been sitting on Chan’s worktable. Chan lower back to his cottage simply because the undergo was once working away, sized up the placement, and shouted: “Come again! Boyfoot undergo with _________! ” 18. a gaggle of chess-playing enthusiasts could assemble on a daily basis within the inn foyer to gloat approximately their maximum victories. got here an afternoon while the resort supervisor barred the crowd from the foyer simply because he couldn’t stand to hear a band of: Chess nuts _____________. 19. A Frenchman and a Czechoslovakian went out trying to find undergo. whilst the 2 had now not back after 4 days, their buddies, fearing the worst, went out looking for them. the crowd got here to a clearing, and, convinced adequate, they observed a dad and mom endure each one with a bloated stomach. Slashing open the stomach of the feminine, the distraught pals chanced on therein the continues to be of the Frenchman. Their darkest fears proven, the gang checked out the opposite undergo and guessed: “The Czech is _____________. ” 20. There as soon as lived a courtroom jester who drove every person loopy together with his compulsive punning. sooner or later the king may perhaps stand it not. “Enough! ” cried the king. “Hangthe idiot! ” yet because the noose was once being drawn round the punster’s neck, the king had a metamorphosis of center; “I’ll loose you on one : that you simply by no means make one other pun so long as you reside. ” “That I promise, your Majesty,” stated the jester: “No noose ________________. ” in order that they hanged him. The solutions THE TIME OF THE indicators (PAGE 21) 1. items 2. street three. antiquity four. skid five. superstar 6. prayer 7. religion eight. dye nine. website 10. blades eleven. time 12. tock thirteen. pool 14. lynx 15. fake sixteen. extensive 17. shaping 18. dents 19. bulbs 20. vine POETIC LICENSES (PAGE 25) The order of the solutions is: 15, 1, thirteen, 12, 14, three, 7, four, 10, eleven, five, eight, 2, nine. 6 18, 17, 20, sixteen, 22, 19, 25 (excuse moi), 23, 24 (tennis a person? ), 21 LETTER - ideal phrases (PAGE 28) 1. B (bee, be) 2. I (eye. I) three. G (gee) four. J (jay) five. A (a) 6. C (sea, see) 7. okay (Kay) eight. P (pea) nine. O (owe, oh, o) 10. T (tea, tee) = tremendous JACKPOT eleven. grab (C’s) 12. tease (T’s) thirteen. clever (Y’s) 14. ease (E’s) 15. use (U’s) sixteen. empty (MT) 17. effortless (EZ) 18. ivy (IV) 19. envy (NV) 20. icy (IC) 21. decay (DK) 22. kewpie (QP) 23. cagey (KG) 24. extra (XS) 25. beady (BD) 26. seedy (CD) 27. Emmy (ME) 28. enemy (NME) 29. excellency (XLNC) 30. anemone (NMNE) 31. arcadian (RKDN) 32. expediency (XPDNC) 33. Casey (KC) 34. Elsie (LC) 35. Odie (OD) 36. Artie (RT) 37. Katie (KT) 38. Abie (AB) 39. Arby (RB) forty. Emily (MLE) HOMOGRAPHS: THE ANTICS OF SEMANTICS (PAGE forty) 1. ring 2. hand three. set four. blues five. strike 6. most sensible 7. ball eight. pants nine. leisure 10. pitch eleven. seal 12. fall i3. hearth 14. pit 15. spring sixteen. court docket 17. plot 18. loose 19. fit 20. state 21. bluff 22. board 23. swap 24. lash 25. scholar 26. pitcher 27. stake 28. sprint 29. invoice 30. coat 31. ace 32. tie 33. ruler 34. checklist 35. draw 36. jam 37. dart 38. clutter 39. mint forty. dossier forty-one. gentle forty two. previous forty three.

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