Facing the Music: My Story

By Jennifer Knapp

Jennifer Knapp’s meteoric upward push within the Christian tune ended unexpectedly while she walked away and got here out publicly as a lesbian. this is often her story—of coming to Christ, of creating a occupation, of admitting who she is, and of ways her religion remained robust via it all.

At the pinnacle of her profession within the Christian tune undefined, Jennifer Knapp hand over. many years later, she publicly published she is homosexual. A media frenzy ensued, and plenty of of her former fanatics have been offended with what they observed as turning her again on God. yet via all of it, she hung on to the fact that had guided her from the beginning.

In this memoir, she eventually tells her tale: of her afflicted adolescence, the affection of tune that pulled her via, her dramatic conversion to Christianity, her upward push to stardom, her abrupt departure from Christian modern track, her years of attempting to come to phrases along with her sexual orientation, and her go back to track and Nashville in 2010, while she got here out publicly for the 1st time. She additionally talks concerning the value of her religion, and regardless of the numerous who declare she will be able to now not name herself a believer, she keeps that she is either homosexual and a Christian.

Now an suggest for LGBT concerns within the church, Jennifer has witnessed heartbreaking struggles as church buildings combat with problems with homosexuality and religion. This engrossing, inspiring memoir may help humans comprehend her tale and to think of their personal tales, no matter what they're.

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God will smite you. You suck. I fought them. i'm going to. permit him. I don’t. there have been days the place the workouts the place much less musical and extra healing periods of reparative psychology. for each destructive proposal that entered my brain, for each strong cause that I needed to now not continue, I used my power to counter with a good answer. I took the assumption of acting back off the desk, attempting to persuade myself that every one i used to be doing was once simply getting again to enjoying back for my very own own reliable. I had pleasure in my lifestyles. Love. strength. desire. I couldn’t fake anymore that I had not anything to sing approximately. track was once the reward of my lifestyles, the single factor that had given me braveness, peace, and function. I didn’t need to make a task of it; I simply had to sing back. Who cared what got here of breaking out the guitar and writing a track or ? For the instant, all I needed to do used to be allow it fly. earlier than I knew it, I had an honest handful of latest songs. A door started to creak open, rusty notwithstanding the hinges have been. probably, simply might be, i'll practice back? With my partner’s encouragement, I give up my task and devoted 3 months to establishing a small domestic studio, writing, and recording a demo. I couldn’t think the place this was once going to guide. If my brain wandered too some distance forward, I bought fearful and was once taunted via the phobia of failure. I needed to block all of it out and for now, easily play. there have been such a lot of unknowable questions that challenged any wish for a comeback. may there be any curiosity? An viewers? What approximately being homosexual? Will it kill my percentages? Can a former Christian artist actually have a mainstream profession? All these questions needed to be positioned to the aspect. I submit a self-preserving curtain among me and any hoped-for destiny, dedicating my undertaking as a Christmas present intended for my relatives. My Grandpa grey had continuously acknowledged that he sought after me to make him a recording of simply voice and guitar, and now was once my likelihood to honor him. I had written a track for him decades in the past that had by no means made a checklist. I had by no means dared play it for him, yet now, i used to be discovering that i ultimately had the braveness to proportion it. The modest aim saved me targeted and that i accomplished the duty in time to ship it out for the vacations. My family members wasn’t the single ones to obtain it. I mailed a duplicate to a Nashville supervisor pal of mine, Mitchell Solarek. I positioned the CD in a simple envelope and glued a Post-it be aware to it, with the easy query: “Do those suck? ” His reaction used to be: “No. come again to Nashville. ” twenty-two I had no inspiration what to anticipate while I back to Nashville, both professionally or socially. For the 1st time, in a truly, long time, i used to be fascinated with the assumption of returning to the song occupation, yet there has been much that scared me. Professionally, there has been no make sure that I’d have a occupation after a seven-year layoff. I didn’t have any curiosity in returning to CCM, and the truth was once that out of doors the Christian tune undefined, i used to be fairly unknown. regardless of the years of expertise and over 1000000 files floating all over the world with my identify on them, i used to be basically coming again as a brand new artist.

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